What if Kyo and Haru were cavemen?
by Thera90
Summary: Read this fic to find out :P Haru x Kyo paring.


_**What if……Haru and Kyo were Cavemen? **_

Read this fic to find out :P Haru x Kyo.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or any of the wonderful characters :(

Note: dialogue in _italics _is thoughts

* * *

Kyo groaned as he tried to get into a comfortable position….why was his bed so hard and why was the floor so cold? He felt an insect scuttle across his face and his eyes snapped open as he brushed it away… 

_What the hell?_ he found himself staring up at what appeared to be a cave wall decorated with a painting - rough outlines of a cat and an ox. Kyo leapt to his feet and looked around – he _was _in a cave? _How the hell did I get here!_

It was dark, but enough light filtered through to let him see his surroundings and his eyes were quickly adjusting. Kyo had a bad feeling about this…and he was cold…and hungry, not to mention confused. Not a position he liked to wake up and find himself in!

"Kyo."

"AHHH!" he jumped around to see where the voice had come from.

"_Haru?! What the hell are you doing here?"_ he tried to say, but the words that left his mouth were "Haru? What here?" It sounded like an insult, but Kyo had to admit, he felt better seeing at least something familiar.

Haru shrugged, seeming unfazed.

Kyo tried again: _where the hell are we and what is going on? _"What going on?" was all that could be heard.

Haru shrugged, "Haru don't know."

Kyo could feel his anger rising, not only was he in some dark cold cave, with strange paintings on the walls, but for some reason he was speaking like he had lost half a brain. He was distracted from his thoughts when he noticed what Haru was wearing.

Some kind of animal skin wrapped (rather loosely by the look of it) around his waist. _Actually looks kinda hot… _the thought popped into his mind before he could stop it, and Kyo decided to pretend he hadn't thought that. _Why the hell are you wearing a SKIRT? _He tried to say, producing only "SKIRT???"

Haru laughed softly. _At least I'm wearing something. _Kyo noticed Haru looking him up and down, smirking and looked down at himself – he was naked!

_WHY DON"T I GET AN ANIMAL SKIN SKIRT TOO! _His mind roared, outraged, forgetting for the moment to question his odd surroundings. He was now more concerned with covering himself up so that Haru would stop looking at him like he wanted to…. twitch… lets not go there.

"Kyo want animal skin!"

Haru just continued to smirk. Kyo stomped off and was relieved to find a small pile of animal skins in one dark corner of the cave. He quickly fastened one around his waist. He turned around to go and question Haru further, and jumped in surprise when he saw Haru was standing two inches behind him. Hara looked a bit disappointed…

"Haru!" _You are standing too close…_Kyo took a step back and hit the cold rock wall. Haru continued to advance, like a cat stalking his prey. _Isn't that supposed to be my role?_ Haru's eyes had turned dark and so had the air around him. He slammed his hands against the wall on each side of Kyo, trapping him.

"Kyo…" he murmured, though it came out more like a grunt. Haru leaned forward and Kyo felt his heartbeat quicken. _…the heck? _The red haired caveman bent down and ducked under the other man's arm before he had a chance to react. Kyo kept moving back, until his heartbeat was slower, and there was a 'safe' distance between them. "What Haru doing?!?!"

Haru was still for a moment, and then he turned to face Kyo who felt slightly relieved to see his eyes had returned to their usually pale grey colour. "Haru like Kyo hair."

"Gah?"

_OHMYGOD!!!! _Kyo couldn't believe he had only just noticed the long orange locks that were falling gently about his shoulders. _Well at least I don't have a beard too… but oh noooo I look like a girl! Can this get any worse? _

"Pretty." Haru was smirking again.

"GRRRRR!" _You baka cow how dare you laugh at me, you looking for a fight? _He tried to scream, producing only "FIGHT?"

Haru shook his head, and picked up a long stick with a sharpened rock fastened to the tip – some kind of spear. "Haru hunt for food."

And before Kyo could stop him, Haru had walked off.

_What the hell, what the hell, what the hell! This is getting too weird! _Kyo thought angrily as he stomped off in the same direction. Soon he could see more and more light and before he knew it he had reached the entrance to the cave. He took a step out – and gasped.

The cave was situated at the base of a cliff, with only a small platform of rock overhanging before a daunting drop to a valley below with a stream running through it. In the distance a backdrop of snow covered mountains completed the picture. Moving along the stream was a heard of…. woolly mammoths? _God they are huuuge! _Kyo thought uneasily. He jumped nervously when a loud roar shattered the stillness. Some unknown, unseen animal? Kyo suddenly wished Haru was with him again. "Haru!" he called feebly.

He stoped when he felt a strange feeling wash over him, and suddenly it didn't feel so strange to be in this place…. suddenly…it felt like he had been here forever, and survival instincts were kicking in…

_I need to make a fire, it's going to get darker and colder soon, and we need something with which to cook the food._ He told himself, and wandered about, making sure he didn't wander too far, collecting twigs and branches, and rocks to make a fire. Returning to the cave, he found a place where remains of burnt bones and ashes were evident, obviously a fire had been constructed here before. Looking up, Kyo also noticed a gap between the rocks in the roof of the cave – a makeshift chimney?

It turned out caveman Haru had a better sense of direction than did 'normal' Haru, because he returned shortly after Kyo had managed to start a fire, dragging a dead baby megaloceros behind him. (aww). Kyo couldn't help feeling a little impressed at Haru's hunting skills.

* * *

Kyo and Haru sat in comfortable silence eating the meat, which they had cooked together. Kyo shivered, even with the fire so close, he couldn't help feeling cold. Haru noticed, and shifted closer to Kyo, putting his arm around him and drawing him near.

Kyo stiffened for a moment, but then relaxed. _Haru's so warm… and there's no one else around, so I'll just stay like this for a little while…_he reasoned.

Before long, Haru noticed Kyo's breathing had become deeper, and more regular – he had fallen asleep. Haru smiled, brushing a strand of hair from the boy's eyes. He liked being with Kyo like this, with no one else around…having him so close…and caring for him. Haru leaned back onto the ground, with Kyo's head resting on his chest. Kyo's sighed in his sleep, curling his arm around the other boy's middle and they slept.

* * *

"KYO!!!!!!!"

Both boys' eyes snapped open as they were awakened the next morning, rather rudely to receive a nasty shock. Cavewoman Kagura! She was glaring down at them, her eyes glinting with rage as she observed the compromising position they were in.

"KYO CHEATING ON ME?" she roared, a dangerously sharp -looking spear appearing in her hand.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Kyo suddenly found himself running as fast as his legs could carry him with a murderous Kagura hot at his heals. To Kyo, she was even scarier in cavewoman form!

Kyo ran and ran, hardly paying attention to where he was going, focusing on one thing only – getting away from Kagura! After some time, he stopped, panting rapidly, and looked behind, relieved to see she was nowhere in sight. _Have I lost her? _Kyo turned back –

and smashed into something with such force he was thrown to the ground.

A loud roar of anger filled the air, and Kyo felt his blood turn cold. He slowly looked up. Here was something even scarier than Kagura… a giant woolly mammoth! It did not look at all pleased to have some orange haired caveman bump into its leg! And, Kyo noticed, neither did the herd of 20 or so friends behind it look happy either. _Shit, I gotta get out of here fast! _

Kyo leapt to his feet, but realised it was too late – he was surrounded. In the blink of an eye, the mammoth had moved forward, trying to attack Kyo with it massive tusks. Kyo managed to get out of the way the first time, but the second time he was a little too slow, and he felt the hard bone hit into his side.

"_MEOW!" _

Instinctively, he grabbed onto the tusk, and soon found himself in and even worse position, dangling high in the air! _Did I just meow? _He wondered vaguely. The other mammoths stamped their feet, causing the ground to vibrate, and threw their trunks high into the air.

Haru appeared then, running over the hill, spear poised, ready for battle. "HARU SAVE KYO!!!" If he weren't so scared, Kyo would have laughed at the sight. _How on earth does he think one man and one spear is going to take on a herd of mad mammoths? _

The mammoth's trunk curled around Kyo's leg and yanked him from it's tusk, shaking him viciously. Just as things were looking like it might be the end…

"KYO!!! MY L-O-V-E!!!!!!!"

* * *

THUMP! 

Kyo was released suddenly and he hit the ground, looking up to see Kagura charging towards them.

"RIVALS! GET AWAY FROM MY LOVE!" she roared at the mammoths.

Kyo almost couldn't believe his eyes as the animals turned in fright and stampeded in the opposite direction, away from the threat of Kagura.

"Kyo." Haru reached him, "Sorry" he said, feeling bad he hadn't been able to get to Kyo sooner. He embraced Kyo, but their relief was short- lived. Kagura now turned her anger back to the boys. Roaring like a women scorned, she threw her spear with all her might.

The cavemen froze in horror as they watched the sharp object come closer…closer, closer-

* * *

GASP! 

Kyo sat up, drenched in sweat, panting heavily. He looked around…he was…he was…. he was in his own room!

It was…it was a dream?? But it had seemed so real! "What kind of messed up dream was that?" Kyo said out loud, disturbed that his mind could even conjure up such a tale. This was…this was all the leeks fault! Yes, that was it! Tohru had made leek soup for dinner, he remembered, and the fumes from the soup had almost made him pass out…obviously it had done something to his mind and was responsible for his terrible dream!

Kyo stood up abruptly on his bed, his fists clenched at his sides, "LEEKS ARE NOT A SUITABLE FOOD FOR PEOPLE TO EAT!!!"

* * *

Yuki yawned. 

"Are you tiered Yuki?" Tohru asked.

Tohru, Kyo, Haru, Momji and Yuki were sitting around together during the school lunch break, later that day.

Yuki sent a glare in Kyo's direction. "Yes, thanks to some baka neko who woke me up at 3:00 am this morning when they felt the need to start screaming about leeks."

However, Kyo wasn't paying attention. He was trying not to look at Haru too much…even though his head kept turning in the boy's direction. He felt strange after seeing the cow as a caveman. _I still can't get over the fact that I dreamed such a thing…though there were some good parts in the dream…like when it was just me and Haru, and we were… why am I thinking this? _

Haru noticed Kyo staring. "You know Kyo…you should grow your hair long, it would suit you."

"WHA? Well you know, you should start wearing skirts, they suits you!" he retorted before he realised what he said.

Haru stared at him for a moment. "Well, Kyo, you really should learn how to fight woolly mammoths, instead of letting them attack you and screaming like a girl…"

Kyo's eyes widened, too shocked to retort. Haru seemed to realise at the same time what he had just said.

"You dreamed it too?!" they exclaimed in unison.

"KYO KUN!!!!!!" a voice called.

It was Kagura. "You were cheating on me! With HIM!" she pointed at Haru. "Don't think I've forgotten! I remember it ALLLLLLLL! And your BOTH going to pay!"

Kagura charged towards her prey…

* * *

The end. 

Please review if you liked my little fic! But no flames please, I know it's one weird story, It even disturbs me that I came up with such an idea, but I guess that's what happens when you write stories at 3:00 am in the morning instead of sleeping oO.


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